Wednesday, 28 November 2007

Prostitute auctions sex for charity

SANTIAGO (Reuters) - A Chilean prostitute has auctioned 27 hours of sex to raise money for the country's largest charity during an annual fund-raising campaign.

Maria Carolina became an overnight celebrity in the conservative Roman Catholic country, making news headlines and appearing on talk shows since she made her unusual donation to the televised charity event, which runs for 27 hours starting on Friday evening.

"I've already auctioned off the 27 hours of love," Maria Carolina told Reuters on Wednesday, saying she had raised about $4,000. "One of my clients already paid. It seemed like a good deed to him."


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Tuesday, 27 November 2007

Mugger Takes The Cake

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian mugger stole a woman's cake as she walked by, then asked the victim to call police so he could go back to prison, Russian media reported Tuesday.

A police spokeswoman in Krasnoyarsk, 4400 km (2700 miles) east of Moscow, said the motives for the crime were unclear, but that when police arrived on the scene the attacker told them he just wanted to return to jail, Russian agency RIA reported.

After checking the arrested man's documents, police learned the mugger had recently served out a 12-year sentence, the spokeswoman said. Charges carrying a potential jail sentence of three years were brought against the cake thief.


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Monday, 26 November 2007

"AssIsn'tSin"'s Creed

Mind the crap

LONDON (Reuters) - An official announcer for London's Tube system has been sacked after making spoof messages mocking American tourists, peeping Toms and sweaty commuters.

Voiceover artist Emma Clarke [Ed: Emma voices the announcements for almost all of the London Underground lines, except the Jubilee Line, the Northern Line and Docklands Light Railway.], 36, recorded the announcements in the same smooth tones that have warned millions of passengers to "Mind The Gap" and posted them on her Web site.

The messages include:

* "We would like to remind our American tourist friends that you are almost certainly talking too loudly."

* "Would the passenger in the red shirt pretending to read the paper but who is actually staring at that woman's chest please stop. You are not fooling anyone, you filthy pervert."

* "Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers."

* "Here we are crammed again into a sweaty Tube carriage ... If you're female smile at the bloke next to you and make his day. He's probably not had sex for months."

Clarke said it was "just a bit of a laugh." But Tube operator Transport for London (TfL) failed to see the funny side and dropped her, after eight years.


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Announcements

Friday, 23 November 2007

Furry Kisses

funny pictures

Italian Porno Prof

ROME (Reuters) - An Italian teacher has been suspended from school because of her extra-curricular activities as a porn star, local authorities announced Thursday.

The out-of-hours behavior of Anna Ciriani, who calls herself "Madameweb" in hard-core videos on the Internet and at erotic shows, was "not compatible with educational activity," the head of the Friuli-Venezia Giulia education authority said.

Ciriani, dubbed the "porno-prof" by Italy's main newspapers, said she never let her hobby get in the way of her teaching.

"My behavior at school has always been professional and irreproachable," she was quoted as saying by the AGI agency.

"I am a normal woman, with my family and my work as a teacher. I am (also) looking for transgression and sex."


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Tuesday, 13 November 2007

US Man hurt using gun to change tyre

A US man has injured himself in both legs after attempting to loosen a stiff wheel-nut by blasting it with his gun.

The 66-year-old man from Washington state was repairing his car outside his home when the accident took place.

Shooting at the wheel from arm's length with his 12-gauge shotgun, he was peppered with buckshot and debris.

The man - who police say was on his own and not intoxicated - was taken to hospital with severe, but not life-threatening, injuries.


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Monday, 5 November 2007

Kenyan Village Women Sexually Harassed by Monkeys

If you live in the small village of Nachu in Kenya, watch out, because a group of approximately 300 marauding monkeys is out to steal your food, sexually harass your women and attack and kill your livestock!

The monkeys are more afraid of young men than women and children, with the bolder individuals throwing stones and chasing the women from their farms. In an attempt to scare the monkeys away, the women are now wearing their husband's clothing, but the wily monkeys are not fooled.

"When we come to chase the monkeys away, we are dressed in trousers and hats, so that we look like men," said Nachu resident Lucy Njeri. "But the monkeys can tell the difference and they don't run away from us and point at our breasts. They just ignore us and continue to steal the crops."

Further, the monkeys also make sexually explicit gestures at the women, according to the residents.

"The monkeys grab their breasts, and gesture at us while pointing at their private parts. We are afraid that they will sexually harass us," said Njeri.


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